Water

A friend came by and wanted us to go to dinner with them, I just looked at my husband and said no way, don’t even want to go there.

Water: trying to get more of my water earlier in the day.  Boy have I been peeing a lot today too.  I’m forcing it down, but I think it will make a difference.  usually too much too late in the day, if  I make it all.

Today’s lemon seems to taste better than others, hum, I like that.

I’ve also been doing some baking soda because my PH dipped too much, but it’s good now, so not sure if I should keep doing it or not…but the toe thing had me concerned about my PH.

big toe

So my big toe’s been hurting for several days and it has really hindered my lunges…when that side needs to go back.  so I was doing some side lunges. then at the class at the Y, I went for them and in runners, it was a bit easier.  It still hurt quite a bit afterwards.  I just assumed I had stubbed it and then my husband said what about gout? he had his first outbreak a few months ago. what? me? no way!  I’m not “that fat”,  I’ve hardly eaten any red meat, my diet has been so clean, I drink lemon water every day, etc.

Before this program my PH was perfect, but has been too acid since.  I attributed this to the dentist and the drugs…but really that should have been clear by now? Just doesn’t seem right…??? huh????Went to the health food store today and she said maybe the water has changed?? seems unlikely as well. So I did baking soda and bought some herbal tea to help (very expensive).  we’ll see what happens in the am, and I’ll repeat until it shifts again.  I am concerned…how can I continue without lunges??? LOL.  no really..

and took extra omegas at bedtime, cause didn’t take any around the baking soda time, cause it weakens digestion (supposedly), well I’ve been burping up a storm and it’s gross! That’s why I’m up right now, had some avocado, to try and settle things down. going back to sleep..not expecting a great scale outcome in the am…ya suppose I could just stay off it?

Meant to take some part way photos to see how I’m doing, somehow that didn’t happen.  that would be a good idea for tomorrow, I can use the encouragement.  I certainly feel smaller.  it’s gotten really hot here fast, so now I NEED to drop more weight…just so hot with all this fat!  Not that I like the heat any better when I’m smaller, but cuter clothes helps.

need sleep. sometimes I wish I didn’t need sleep…don’t we all?

after day 18

Over the hump, ha ha. The r.ball etc really helped with my mental being. Am disappointed that MAP is exactly like meltdown, was hoping for some changes of some kind!  But once bodyweight was revealed…and ohhh do I resist those!  They are just so bloody hard.  I’ll give them a go again…can you feel the enthusiasm??

hookie

My body did not feel happy/but mostly my mind so.
I ended up taking the day off from Dax’s workouts.  I did exercise 3X though.  1st a walk and then playing catch with the kids and dogs.

2nd racquetball for an hour,

3rd a very brisk walk with some jogging intervals.  I’ll tell ya, it has helped me mentally, and I had way more fun, which really is the reason for dropping weight, to have more fun.  I’ll get back at it tomorrow:).  Actually ate very little today mostly cause I was really busy.  Felt like a good day.

yesterday was weird

Had a hard time mentally/physically yesterday. after reading the “I Believe”, I recommitted, but my body was rebelling.  Took the family to the YMCA and we all played racquetball, first with my daughter, then all 4 of us, then with my husband to get my heart rate way up…now that was FUN.  I needed that physical fun and I haven’t done that for so long.  We just laughed and I must have had a permanent smile on my face.  Back in the 80’s, when I actually played racquetball some, I remember the word was that was not good exercise because of the stop/start and you needed steady heart rate to burn fat.  Well, that sure seemed like intervals to me!  Then we all went for a swim, ahhhh felt great to stretch in the water!

So I considered that 2 of my exercise sessions, then did the DBM at night (maybe a bit too late), and finally, a drop on the scale today!  yes!

response to Dax’s I believe

Right after pyramid, Wanting to never workout again, I read the “I believe”:

I believe that every single person wants to be seen, to be known, to be heard.  I believe that people want to share their “true selves” and sometimes all it takes is an invitation. People often say to me, “how do you know so much about____, you just met and I’ve know them for years.”  I love this and the answer is because I ask and I care about the answers. Now, do they know as much about me? Probably not. I always answer, but I probably do not offer without request.

I love this post Dax. The overall impact on me is that it helped me find my inner balance.  I just completed a workout feeling like I can never do another Dax workout…I’m done!  Well, I know I can, because I want to, because I want results.

I believe that my desire for change/health/fitness/feeling good is the only thing that keeps me from being a 300lb sloth.

I laughed at this one: I agree thoughts don’t become things, but thoughts with strong emotion do have a lot of power.

I believe life is all about choice.
I think my belief that I couldn’t do these workouts has been effecting my performance and my physicality; I know it’s more mental than physical.  The food part is totally easy for me, and that’s a belief too.

So, I choose to have these workouts become easier and easier.
I choose to focus on my progress.
I choose to enjoy my progress and feel great about it.
I choose to keep going because the rewards outweigh the costs and I deeply believe that as well.
I choose YES
and I believe YES.

Deeply, thank you DAX
Needed this today
(& intuitively didn’t read it until I needed it.)
tons and tons of love,
You are one of the great men out there!

the mind

woke up this morning feeling like my body is changing, happy….energy for 1st workout thinking I can keep this going for a few months til I get where I want. then time for workout#2 and I can barely move, so I did my intervals instead of meltdown…which I just now saw I was confused!!!!  then when I was doing #3,meltdown (ahhhhh…would have liked the right one better!), then my mind was saying, I’m DONE, I’m cooked….can do no more!

I notice that it can shift so easily, so I’ll just shift back to I can do it!  But wow, this is some stress on the body.

what a week

Well, dentist on Mon made that a complete dud. 90 min drive each way, whole family in…I pretty much passed out when got home.

I wonder about the decay he removed, and how that toxicity effects my body….not to mention the drugs used.

woke up in middle of the night was going to do a workout! now that’s commitment, decided to do some cleaning instead!  on a good note, didn’t eat much 🙂

Tues got in extra walking and playing some volleyball with kids (if you can call it that, but I was moving :).

Wed. completely wasted (as in tired). I think the carbs wasn’t a great idea ha ha (I really didn’t have that much)….I was way more tired…well, was up early and daughter had braces put on. & didn’t sleep much with daughter’s friend over, but very sweet that she wanted to watch her braces going on. emotional day….I hate any kind of discomfort my kids might go thru.

Too much teeth stuff, I hate teeth stuff! Having teeth nightmares!

I still have an impacted wisdom tooth that needs to come out, then more work, I’ve put it off until next month, but technically it’s still part of MAP.  kindof sucks, probably ruin my last few days…on pain meds…ah well, gotta take care of business.

wasted way too much time today reading the sucky boards. i’m so sick of the whiners and victims and all that justifying…I just want to scream shut up! go away….!!!…ohhh a bit cranky maybe???

I miss the support and community we had in Jan.

every time dax writes a response, I just love him even more….one cool dude!

My body does feel good. I feel like I’m making progress, getting stronger again.  My inner voice/doubt is afraid that i won’t get to where I was at the end of jan by the end of this.  AND I considered where I was at the end of Jan just a starting point, certainly NOT where I wanted to be.  Can’t go there, or think about that….do what I can, then do a bit more, feel good about it and move on, continue making good decisions and moving…

and water water water, gotta remember!

Oh I want results

The only one that had any weight (haha) was that I’m afraid of hurting myself…and in fact, my back did hurt after pyramid today…I did extra stretches and carried on.

I then came up with a compelling list of 35 Whys.
OK, so if I’m feeling like skimping on something, I’ll review my list.

The biggest way I have talked myself out of “health/fitness etc.” in the past is with the oh it won’t matter anyway.  What’s one piece of fruit (this week)…or one piece of cake (usually), but is it one?
Trusting that it, whatever the IT is…that it matters, that it impacts results is big for me.  If I trust that it matters, I’m there, 100%.
In Jan, I didn’t get better results with the no carb/fast days…so I wasn’t so sure I would follow them this time honestly. I figured I’d go one day at a time, and no fruit today was easy.  Reading others’ excuses makes me want to follow cause I do trust Dax…much more than any of those other guys out there.

Really, what’s a few days for fulfilling a lifetime of WANTS.
I am focused, I am clear and I want results and I am willing to do the work, absolutely!

Talking oneself into something is so much more fun than talking self out of it.

feelin the love!

why why not

I have to dig deep for why nots, cause I don’t let them surface.

too hard, too tired, hurts, afraid of hurting myself, won’t work anyway, have a taste it won’t effect anything..doesn’t matter, no time, takes time away from my kids,don’t trust the program, don’t trust myself, why bother, it is such a bother.

why

I want to look good

i want to feel good

I deserve to feel good and look good

I like feeling strong

i deserve to bring my inner me out

i deserve to shine

i don’t have to placate others around me by being fat or fatter

i want balance in my life

i want health

being healthy feels younger,

don’t want to age too fast or too soon

i want to play with my kids

i want to have energy for my kids

energy for my life

radiate my true self

want to feel good in my body

want to move with ease

i want to role model health/fitness for my daughter

i want to be DONE with this struggle

i want my life free of struggle

i want to free up all the time/energy/thought that has gone into weight for so many years

i want to live life fully

i want to enjoy each moment and that means being healthy and feeling good

i like being proud of myself

i like accomplishing on a physical level

26. i love being able to physically do things i never could

27, don’t want fat to be my excuse for NOT anymore

28 I like what being fit says about me to the world

29 i want to present myself to the world, and especially to myself as a fit person

30…no more worries about how clothes look on me

31no more worries about how I look

32. no rushing to drop a few lbs when an event comes up

33. feel great about attending anything because i am drawn to it (rather than don’t want people to see me this way)

34quality of life will be better

35 i’ll ultimately have way more time…in a day/in my life.