The biggest piece for me is …which, I didn’t realize until just after I had sent that email, was I felt that they didn’t trust me. The judgment about my ‘diet’ said to me that they didn’t trust me, don’t trust my judgment. Surprisingly that made me wonder if I should trust myself, after all, my history was shaky…even though I know it was their stuff around their own bodies!
I feel grateful for this vulnerable state I’ve been in. I am glad for the opening of that wound, because this way it can be healed. I’m glad my husband is gone this week, because I might have gone into that old pattern of blaming him for how I was feeling….which is one way I’ve avoided these feelings in the past (in addition to eating). And it feels so great & different that he and I are exploring this process together. I’m so glad that he is eating healthier.
I’ve already made huge progress in my healing. I’m feeling expectant and excited as I shape the me I want to be: emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically….physically last.
And, I am committed to my progress because I trust myself. I trust my judgment and my research. I trust my alignment with my inner being and how I am feeling. And I approve of MYSELF. I approve of my journey and my now. I trust that I have learned and am learning and that my progress is continuing. I accept my choices and their results in the past and in the future. I accept myself.
I do have a specific list of how I could have been supported and I get now that I really can do that for myself. My fear was what made me think I needed someone else to help me. But I trust myself and I am not afraid. I have not failed in the past, it’s just all been part of the journey to my now. I do appreciate this moment and where I am at and I am clear about what I am creating for myself.
Slim, its so good to read how far you have come and how you are really now getting to the bottom of everything, or, how Dax would say, how you are peeling the onion. This is what it is all about, and I am so proud of you for allowing yourself to be vulnerable so that you can open up! Yes, trust yourself that you will make the right choices, because you will when you have no more excuses and are truly honest! Big hug to you, can’t wait to hear where this will take you!
I love the aspect of peeling the onion. It’s a great illustration that really helps get to the heart of stuff. Definitely proud of all that you have accomplished. Keep up the amazing work!
It is important to trust ourselves so we can trust and believe in others. All my best!